I felt so dumb, so embarrassed, so pathetic, that I started to cry. I told her that after 2 years of no health insurance, no doctors, having to do everything myself, and 6 years of being diabetic with no one really to help me (since as an adult, no one concerns themselves with the psychological effects of being diabetic), I just gave up. And so I started to cry. Boo.
On the upside, she said we are just going to start over and we are going to fix it and it is going to be ok. She wasn't about to hug me or anything, but she was nice and didn't say anything mean or unnecessary and she clearly is willing to help me. So, bloodwork appt this Thursday, diabetes educator appt Friday, another endo appt in a month to see where we are. And the beginning of fixing myself begins.
One last note. I went to see The Muppets on Saturday night. I have been waiting for this movie to come out for at least a year, and I was so excited. It was wonderful! I am going again on Friday afternoon with some of my little buddies! Go see it; try not to smile from start to finish. This movie will restore your inner child, your sense of simple happiness. It will restore your faith in humanity. We all have a little Muppet in us!
Based on my finding of some help and faith, I feel like some of the lyrics to one of the songs are appropriate:
"...life's a happy song when there's someone by your side to sing along
when you're alone, life can be a little rough
it makes you feel like you're 3 foot tall
when it's just you, well times can be tough
when there's no one there to catch your fall
everything is great, everything is grand
I've got the whole wide world in the palm of my hand
everything is perfect, it's falling into place
I can't seem to wipe this smile off my face
life smells like a rose with someone to ping
and someone to pose
life's a piece of cake with someone to pedal
someone to brake
life is full of glee with someone to saw
and someone to see
life's a happy song when there's someone by my side to sing along..."