"Too Good"

It's been a while since I've posted, but, as you've probably guessed, I'm pretty busy with my little guy.

flying over daddy

fascinated by the socks he wore on a chilly day

 my favorite 3 month picture (8/30)

It's hard to believe that he is already 14 weeks old! The summer has gone so fast and I'm trying to find a part time job that somehow works with my hanging out with my best bud!

As far as diabetes goes, there are a few things that have been happening. One, I set up my team for this year's JDRF walk (at the Art Museum, as usual). This year I changed our name to "Beatin' the Beetus." I will probably keep this name from year to year. I'm pretty happy with it.

Two, we get our health insurance through my husband's job. This summer, when the plan lapsed, his company decided to switch insurance providers. Unfortunately for me/us, they chose a company that seems to be built to make life a huge pain in the ass for people with diabetes. Because my husband works for a fairly small company, one 2 different insurance plans were offered to the employees - an HMO and what seems to be the providers lowest level PPO (this provider has about 10 different plan options, if not more). We recently learned that the HMO that we chose only covers DME at 50%. So that means insulin pumps are only covered at 50%. So that means pump supplies are only covered at 50%. So that means my Omnipod supplies will cost over $300 every 3 months. We even spoke to the insurance contact person to look into the PPO option, but because it's the lowest level, even that only provides 50% DME coverage.

Have I mentioned that I'm not working right now? Because subbing pays so little, I can't afford daycare. So without at least a half-time teaching position, I really can't work. With no income coming in on my part, and my husband already paying all the bills, I really don't see how I'm supposed to do diabetes. Awesome stuff. I am trying to find a part time tutoring gig that I can do a couple nights a week after my husband is home. Hopefully that will work out and be enough to keep my insulin pump. Sigh.

I had an endo appointment on Friday. This was my second appointment since giving birth, and the first time in almost a year that I had a 3 month break between appointments. That break of no doctors was delightful! Breastfeeding is really doing a number on my blood sugars. I am low quite often. It seems like no matter what I do, I have a slight spike and then tank after breakfast, and then also go low fast with any sort of physical activity (taking a walk, going grocery shopping, cooking dinner). My endo, after saying hello and going through a couple typical questions, said "so, I guess you've been having a lot of lows?" I responded that I guessed so, and she came back with "yeah, because your a1C is crazy good, too good... it's 5.4."

I guess breastfeeding is making me too good at diabetes? Ha, guess I will work on that! As for the insurance nonsense, good luck to me I guess!

A Birth Story

Two days after my last post, the water hit the floor.

Benjamin Andrew Tillett
May 30, 2013; 9:31pm
8 lbs, 6 oz
21 inches long

At 3am on Thursday, May 30 (it sure felt like it was still Wednesday, May 29th! Why do babies always need to come in the middle of the night?), my water broke. I got up to go to the bathroom and got back in bed, only to feel like I suddenly kinda wet my pants. I woke up my husband and told him what was going on, and called the OB office to say "uhhh, what do I do now?" After the on-call doctor called me back (and said to come in to the hospital), I gathered up my things, Drew and I both took showers, and we headed to the hospital around 4:15am.

Once there, things went both fast and slow. Unfortunately, I was placed on an IV of pitocin immediately (against my husband's and my better judgement), without even being seen by a doctor. Apparently, that is just what they do. I was also given fluids, an antibiotic (they hadn't gotten my Strep B test results back yet, so err on the side of caution), and a separate dextrose line on the other hand. I continued to wear my Omnipod and be in charge of my own diabetes. The rule was that I could use my lancet device (instead of those hospital harpoons), but had to check my bg on their giant hospital meter that needs a bucket of blood per check.

For a few hours everything was fine - the contractions were bearable and I was pretty happy, just bored. By about 12, things started to get rough. Pitocin contractions are not normal contractions; labor does not progress in any sort of regular way. My contractions went from kinda painful, but ok, to practically unbearable in a very short time. The contractions were literally "off the charts" in strength, where the monitor couldn't even show their peaks and they would not fully subside before starting again. There was no break between. However, I was also barely "progressing" through labor. While I was all "ripe," I was not very dilated. By 1pm, I had finally hit 3cm, so at 2pm I was given an epidural. 

At 7pm the doctor wanted to do a c-section, because I was only barely 4cm dilated, but I convinced him to give me two more hours. Giving me the epidural so early likely slowed down my labor progression. I also found out a few weeks later that Ben was facing up, which may have also slowed things down and kept him from descending (he was still chilling up in my ribcage). At 9pm, I had only gotten to barely over 4cm, was officially labeled "failure to progress," and c-section it was.

At 9:31pm the doctor pulled a baby out of my belly and I got to hear a baby yelp. As this doc loves to be a joker, he wouldn't tell me if it was a boy or a girl until I begged, but after a minute he held Ben up so I could see him over to the curtain and said "it's a boy." And, I couldn't stop smiling. 

Now it's almost 2 months later and it's me and my little guy all the time :)

Home Stretch

Tomorrow (Wednesday) will mark me at 38 weeks pregnant. I'll just let that sink in for a second.

about 2 weeks ago, at 36 weeks
notice the moon is gone!
(wall has been primed, not yet painted)

I don't know if I ever mentioned it to anyone outside of real life, but a while (maybe 6 weeks?) ago I got into an argument with one of the OBs at my group's practice. Previously, I was told that I would not be allowed to go past my 40 weeks with the pregnancy due to having T1, and all the reasons were explained to me. I accepted this, but requested that the doctors let me go as close to 40 weeks as possible provided I had no issues/complications with the pregnancy (giant baby, preeclampsia, any of the 14 million things they scare you about). The doctors that I had spoken with agreed with me - they would let me get as close to 40 weeks as was safe for me and baby. Then there was this guy. Let's call him Dr. D (for douchebag!) 

Dr. D basically told me that I would be induced at about 38 weeks no matter what, just because I have diabetes, and that there was no way they would let me get to 39 weeks, let alone even closer to 40. His reasoning was basically that with all the issues/complication that could occur, it was safer and then he inferred that something would happen. This was the only time that I had met this doctor, he knows nothing about me, other than I am diabetic, and he is basing all his words and information on that one point - on diabetes. Even when I brought up my conversations with other doctors, he ignored my points and said he "would have to talk to Dr. So-and-So." As I am prone to do when I am frustrated with people who I feel like have power over me, I started to cry. While embarrassing, I think this threw him for a loop and he ended up agreeing with my plan to wait as long as was possible/safe. 

Well, time has now passed and even though we are still working on the nursery (painting) and have yet to get any furniture for it, baby time is just about here! Last week at my NST, a doctor that I really like said that nothing is going on with me yet as far as labor, but all my tests and everything are great. He scheduled an induction for my 39th week (just so happened that the best date is June 5th, the day I hit 39 weeks), so if I don't go into labor before dinnertime, June 4th, and everything on that day goes to plan, baby will arrive on June 5th. One week from tomorrow. And now I will have another minor mental-freak-out and then will get back to all the work/prep we have to do. Me and baby will show our faces to the DOC soon!

Less than 10

to go, that is. I will be 34 weeks pregnant in two days, so I guess it really means there are only 6 more week to go! Geez, have I mentioned that this is going super quickly?

Insulin resistance has set in full-force and is making pregnancy, diabetes, pods, syringes, dexcom, and everything just a giant pain. I am going through insulin and pods like crazy, it's like I'm pumping water sometimes. Before about a month ago, I had never in my life given myself an injection by syringe. The last time I had touched a syringe at all was probably 8 years ago, when my sister was still on them. When I was diagnosed, I went right to Novolog and Levemir pens. But, syringes came back to me like riding a bike does, and I am a correction via butt needle fiend now.

my visit to the moon at 32 weeks

Today, I had an endo appointment and learned that my A1c is 6.2. Obviously, this is pretty good, and if I wasn't pregnant, I would be completely happy with it. But, being pregnant, the fact that I hit 6 and went barely above it makes me feel like a bit of a failure. How messed up is that? Baby is in the 60th percentile growth-wise at 5 lb, 9 oz (I also had an ultrasound today), so not too big or anything and seems to be doing great in every respect, but I feel like a failure because of what would be a "good" non-pregnant A1c. Really have to work harder at not letting numbers, or anything else related to diabetes be a grade to me.

Just last week, I started my twice a week nonstress tests (NSTs) along with once a week amniotic fluid checks (AFIs). Before that, I was going just once a week for an NST at the OB office since about week 29. I was supposed to start twice a week at week 31, but we had some difficulty scheduling things out so that it didn't affect my work schedule/availability. I really had to fight for the point that I was not going to take off work for these tests, and yes, I have to be at work at 8am and no, I can't get to your office before 4pm. I don't know who these people think I am, but normal humans don't have jobs they can just show up late for/leave early from twice a week! Luckily, the nurse in charge of NSTs at my OB office is a sane and kind person and set up a standing Monday/Thursday 4pm date for me from now until delivery, with Monday being AFI then NST and check-up day and Thursday being just an NST.

Apparently some people think that living at doctor's offices doesn't actually effect my life? If only they knew the scheduling miracles that people with diabetes and other chronic issues have to pull off!!

28 + 1

Last week I hit 28 weeks (7 months pregnant) and was able to say that I am now into my third trimester. Still cannot believe that! Diabetes-wise, things have started to change some. My A1c is still under 6, but somewhere around week 26ish, I started to see some actual insulin resistance creeping into my numbers. I know that typically, people describe insulin resistance as gradually making its way into pregnancy throughout the second trimester and then becoming a giant pain in the butt throughout the third trimester, but that wasn't my experience. I experienced a second trimester that wasn't filled with near as many crazy-town lows as my first, but still ran on the lower/easier side. However, now I am definitely starting to fight with my numbers some. Diabetes, you are such a pain in the ass.

Like the background in the picture? We call this the "moon room." The other 3 walls are painted a light blue, but this one has some custom/hello-there wallpaper in it. I decided that this would be the perfect place for belly pictures in the new house, because we are going to redo this room as the nursery. You can see the changes to the wall and my belly in one shot!

Right now, schools are on spring break, so I am off from subbing (work) for the week. This is great because we made settlement on our house on March 14th and moved in this past weekend! I am spending the week trying to get some nonsense done around here.... so many boxes!! Also, though, we are not fully out of our apartment. Since were are paid through the end of this month (this coming weekend), we didn't bother to clean super well and left some random stuff there when moving. I spend much of today cleaning the old place out so that we can have our deposit back. Let me tell you, co-diabetes people, never move your couch. You will be kind of ashamed and semi-grossed out at the test strip graveyard that lives underneath of it!

Home, Sweet Home!

24 Weeks

Today I am 6 months (24 weeks) pregnant. Where has the time gone?! How is it possible that I only have 3 more weeks before I have reached my 3rd trimester? This just seems insane.

I feel like, from the people that I have spoken with/to, many women seems to either love or hate the feeling of being pregnant. I don't think I fit into either category. I definitely do not hate pregnancy, but I am not sure that I completely love it either. I am just fine and dandy about it, I guess. There are things that are annoying and I am not a fan of, but I don't particularly dislike pregnancy in general. I don't feel "gross" or anything like that.

much more obvious, now

I feel good about myself when I see results that show I am succeeding in the diabetes-aspect of pregnancy. Maybe I don't "love it" because pregnancy with T1 is not the pregnancy that is shown in movies or TV or in any of the experiences that anyone I know in real life has had. I can't gorge myself on particular foods or use pregnancy as some kind of reasoning to really change much about my lifestyle like many women that I have met have said they enjoyed doing. I still have to count carbs and be careful about what I eat, plus make sure I am eating more veggies and fruit and protein and fiber and taking my vitamins and going to all 19 million doctor's appointments.

The fact that I still haven't felt the baby move may also be a part of it. All my tests/ultrasounds/appointments show that everything with baby (have I mentioned that we are not finding out if it's a girl or boy? I want to be surprised, so this is just "baby" until birth) is great. And, I have been told and read many things that say many first-time moms/pregnant ladies don't feel the baby move until pretty late (sometimes up till week 30!), so I know that everything is OK. Still it's hard to feel "really pregnant" when you haven't felt movement. Instead, I feel just kind of chubster who claims pregnancy. :-P Overall, I am happy though. I don't want this to be a complaining post! Pregnancy with diabetes definitely doesn't ruin the experience at all, but I do think it changes it enough that we can't understand "regular people pregnancy" and they can't understand us either.

New Year, New Everything

It's January 15th and things are suddenly different. 2013 is the year of new for my husband and I. Let's make a list:

bumpity-bump

Well, tomorrow I will be 19 weeks pregnant (that's 4 months, 3 weeks if you don't want to do any math). To think that I have just about hit my 5th month is so crazy to me. Time seems to be flying! As far as diabetes is concerned with it, things are going well. My A1c has been very good this whole time (between 5.7 and 5.9) and while I am basically into my second trimester now, no signs of insulin resistance yet. I'm sure that will come, but it isn't coming yet, so I'm greatful for the easy road so far. 

I still don't look clearly pregnant. I guess that I haven't "popped" and so people still look at me with that unsure "pregnant or fat?" face. Though, they are starting to go more for pregnant, so that's kind of nice. None of my clothes fit though, which is great fun (not!!). Turns out all this bronchitis and the terrible asthma issues that I have been having are due to the pregnancy. Apparently, some women suffer from their asthma going nuts during pregnancy, and I drew the lucky number for it! Woohoo. I have a little bit of either super-dry skin or a rash on my shins too. Strange, strange. 

On December 30th, while visiting family in Virginia, we went ice skating and I fell. I am a pretty decent ice skater and rarely fall, but a year of no skating and really dull rented skates and probably being a little off balance will get you. After being in pain for a few weeks, I got this lovely New Year's gift this morning:

I look pleased, right?

surprise, fractured right wrist! I am being treated for a Colles fracture and a probably scaphoid fracture, so I get to rock this delightful accessory for the next 6 weeks. I got a waterproof liner to make my life easier though, so there's that!

And, today, while I was in the waiting room at my OB office for a checkup, my husband called to discuss the recent purchase we've been looking into. And we completed said purchase. We bought a house!!! It's like we are real grownups or something now! We will settle and move sometime between mid-February and the end of March. Those exact dates haven't been nailed down yet, but no matter what, house=ours. Wow.

Like I said, new year, new everything. 2013 brings with it pregnancy experience, my first actually broken bone and cast, purchasing a home, moving, and birth of baby. Here we go!